I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
