I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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