i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
