everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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