I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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