Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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