i was born a porn star she said
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
