You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
