The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
