he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
