I got chris browned last night
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I FOUND THE LEGS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
