even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
