IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
