perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize