So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
