Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
