making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
