So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
