nut hugger
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
