i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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