Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We have so much sex to catch up on
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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