I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Found the puke drawer
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can't turn off my feet"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
