sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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