I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
