She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
