Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
