I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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