this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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