You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
