the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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