She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
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we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
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Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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