i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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