I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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