they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
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Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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