Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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