just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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