if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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