the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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