Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
