I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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