i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
