I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize