I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
this hospital has no fireball
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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