Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
