Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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