a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize