next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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