guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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