i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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