Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
