that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
