We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
