Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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