yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
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i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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