how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
