Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
