So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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