it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
