you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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