You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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