I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
