I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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