So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
