So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
smell my finger.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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