I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
