Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize